This is so good Tony, thank you. Your discussion of rushing the scene to get to the next plot point but losing the emotional vibrancy really resonated with me. Lots of people say "enter late, exit early" for scene writing but maybe that overlooks some of the interesting emotional reactions as you point out. The Godfather supplicant scene analysis was amazing.
In the running for my favorite of your posts so far. Really clarifies something for me personally as a viewer who generally enjoys today's "prestige TV" and Marvel movies (prestige comic films) but so rarely feel very enthusiastic about them: most shows and (especially) Marvel movies have a concept and certainly make sense--if they didn't have those two things going for them, there wouldn't be much left over. Many of them simply don't surprise at the character level. They sort of remain suspended somewhere in that pitch/outline phase, but filled in with great actors, phenomenal set and costume design, sometimes CGI fireworks, and a sense of culture on the prestige side or fan service on the Marvel-y side. And they do generate internet "water fountain discussion," but again, mostly at the level of concept (often framed in terms of cultural impact or fidelity to source material) or logic (endless ubiquitous focus on plot holes). And there's a sort of joylessness to all this discussion. We're all doing our duty to fill the air with something to talk about, but we're not dying to see what these characters are going to do next. We're more or less resigned to bracing ourselves for the next conceptual logical jolt.
Needed this one today as I work through a fourth round of notes on a pitch. I was feeling exactly this - everything is starting to become a little flat. The notes are smart but I feel like we are losing some of our edge. Here’s to fighting for the little moments that matter!
I always enjoy these great insights and peeks behind the curtain, Tony, thanks.
I couldn't help but keep thinking about your female character, and her supermarket scene. Just for fun, I tried to come up with a equally emotionally compelling exchange, that would express very similar (class) sentiments (without the can of berries to the head.)
My take (again, just for fun-- with all due respect)
Note: Since the young woman character was the valedictorian of her high school, I thought she might respond using her "wit" to put him in his place-- versus resorting to a purely physical reaction.
INT. SUPERMARKET, CHECK-OUT LINE -- DAY
A nicely dressed middle class white-guy with his young son, is checking out: he has a whole cart full of of expensive fresh produce. His son turns and looks in the females cart behind them.
SON: "Why can't we get canned strawberries: they look tastier?"
FATHER: (looks in female characters cart): "It’s all corn syrup and sugars (looks at the female character) but apparently 'some people' don’t understand that."
The son turns and looks up at the female. She's pissed.
FEMALE CHARACTER: "Maybe you shouldn't make assumptions about what people KNOW-- and don't KNOW."
FATHER: (Dismissing the female character--to son): "You can't expect White trash to understand basic nutrition ..."
The female character grabs the can of canned strawberries from her cart and slams them down on the checkout conveyor--
FEMALE CHARACTER: "This can of White trash strawberries-- costs $2.79 ... that pack of FRESH strawberries-- costs $5.00-- You'd expect a rich White dude to UNDERSTAND basic socioeconomics!"
The father hurriedly takes his change from the cashier, grabs his sons hand, and flees the store. His son looks back at her as they exit. CUT TO:
INT. FEMALE CHARACTERS HOUSE -- DAY
The female unpacks her grocery bag: the final item she removes and puts on the counter is:
This is the best blog about screenwriting I've ever read. Thank you!
This is so good Tony, thank you. Your discussion of rushing the scene to get to the next plot point but losing the emotional vibrancy really resonated with me. Lots of people say "enter late, exit early" for scene writing but maybe that overlooks some of the interesting emotional reactions as you point out. The Godfather supplicant scene analysis was amazing.
In the running for my favorite of your posts so far. Really clarifies something for me personally as a viewer who generally enjoys today's "prestige TV" and Marvel movies (prestige comic films) but so rarely feel very enthusiastic about them: most shows and (especially) Marvel movies have a concept and certainly make sense--if they didn't have those two things going for them, there wouldn't be much left over. Many of them simply don't surprise at the character level. They sort of remain suspended somewhere in that pitch/outline phase, but filled in with great actors, phenomenal set and costume design, sometimes CGI fireworks, and a sense of culture on the prestige side or fan service on the Marvel-y side. And they do generate internet "water fountain discussion," but again, mostly at the level of concept (often framed in terms of cultural impact or fidelity to source material) or logic (endless ubiquitous focus on plot holes). And there's a sort of joylessness to all this discussion. We're all doing our duty to fill the air with something to talk about, but we're not dying to see what these characters are going to do next. We're more or less resigned to bracing ourselves for the next conceptual logical jolt.
Amazing! Thank you!
Very insightful with positive angle on notes. Thanks!
Needed this one today as I work through a fourth round of notes on a pitch. I was feeling exactly this - everything is starting to become a little flat. The notes are smart but I feel like we are losing some of our edge. Here’s to fighting for the little moments that matter!
This is the best blog about screenwriting I've ever read. Thank you!
I always enjoy these great insights and peeks behind the curtain, Tony, thanks.
I couldn't help but keep thinking about your female character, and her supermarket scene. Just for fun, I tried to come up with a equally emotionally compelling exchange, that would express very similar (class) sentiments (without the can of berries to the head.)
My take (again, just for fun-- with all due respect)
Note: Since the young woman character was the valedictorian of her high school, I thought she might respond using her "wit" to put him in his place-- versus resorting to a purely physical reaction.
INT. SUPERMARKET, CHECK-OUT LINE -- DAY
A nicely dressed middle class white-guy with his young son, is checking out: he has a whole cart full of of expensive fresh produce. His son turns and looks in the females cart behind them.
SON: "Why can't we get canned strawberries: they look tastier?"
FATHER: (looks in female characters cart): "It’s all corn syrup and sugars (looks at the female character) but apparently 'some people' don’t understand that."
The son turns and looks up at the female. She's pissed.
FEMALE CHARACTER: "Maybe you shouldn't make assumptions about what people KNOW-- and don't KNOW."
FATHER: (Dismissing the female character--to son): "You can't expect White trash to understand basic nutrition ..."
The female character grabs the can of canned strawberries from her cart and slams them down on the checkout conveyor--
FEMALE CHARACTER: "This can of White trash strawberries-- costs $2.79 ... that pack of FRESH strawberries-- costs $5.00-- You'd expect a rich White dude to UNDERSTAND basic socioeconomics!"
The father hurriedly takes his change from the cashier, grabs his sons hand, and flees the store. His son looks back at her as they exit. CUT TO:
INT. FEMALE CHARACTERS HOUSE -- DAY
The female unpacks her grocery bag: the final item she removes and puts on the counter is:
FRESH STRAWBERRIES.
Best ever for this stuff is James L. Brooks. "I was just inches from a clean getaway."